\m/ hang loose

i am probably the most tan i've ever been

& that's saying a lot.

i tan very easily

& i usually don't peel too bad.

i feel good when i'm tan.

hawaii has been good for me.

everything feels fresh

& i get a TON of exercise.

i just want to live here.

i like the people around me 

& i like what i'm doing usually.

except today i was dragging butt.

i didn't want to work at all.

i was so so so so tired from the 4th of july weekend.

we went NON stop.

moped riding, beaching it up, dance parties on the beach,

goodbye parties, turtle watching, trolly riding, snorkeling, & on & on.

it was fantastic. 

very fantastic.

& the fireworks were good.

i'll post some pics later.

i have a meeting to attend now. i just wanted to update ish.

Shaka \m/

shaka!

i can officially say that i don't really want to go home.

i am LOVING it here.

there are definitely pros and cons to being here.

i love everything that is going on right now

buuuuut 

what do i do?

continue to live an easy life and work with people all the time 

that just want to do missions around the world??

oooorrrr

go back home and become a dental assistant

and try to get a man for life and really really grow up??

the decision is hard for me.

really really hard.

ugh. i know. 

blah blah another person posting about their problems on their blog.

well, deal.

i have to organize my thoughts sometimes.

i really need to start taking more pictures of everyday life too.

i'm bad at that.

oh and start wearing sunblock.

i am so burnt.

it hurts to sit.

whenever i sit in my office chair 

my legs stick and i have to peel them off and it kills.

i whine a lot but i gotta learn i guess.

here is a random shot. it was raining hard

and i couldn't hear my music. 

these next shots are from our trip to South Point.

the most southern point of the United States.

I didn't jump. I'm too much of a wimp. 

It's about 40 feet. I just climbed down the rocks & swam.

Later I found out that the most sharks in the island are located there.

Good thing i didn't know that before i swam.

or i wouldn't have duh.

anywho, enjoy!

the sound of the rain makes it impossible to hear my music!!!!

ok,

my trip to Hawaii has been fantastic!

i have an awesome roommate, Breanna from Cali!

it's nice to have someone the

-same age

-fun

-speaks english

-likes the same things i do

-has a similar past so we relate

yup, it's a match made in heaven!

my time here has been fun this time.

i feel that last time was not as good cuz everyone was not as friendly.

i felt that they cared less.

& i see that now.

i had so much alone time before

& now i have zero 

the time change is killing me still.

4 hours doesn't seem much 

but at night i'm ready for bed at 8 since it's midnight at home

i already have a tan.

GO ME!

3 trips to the beach and random walking will do the trick

oh, & coconut oil.

ants are still attacking and they ate my animal crackers.

boo.

i got ziplock bags. hopefully that helps.

here are a few photos from my trip to the north shore. 

next saturday: south shore.

Made it to Hawaii and it's amazing once again. Things are a bit different and different people are here but it's been good so far. I am a tiny bit homesick and I miss not having a car.
Walking is good tho ha
The ants are bad and it's humid.
The water is kinda cold too.
Seems odd.
Oh well.
Ummmm I'm kinda sad to not be home.
I miss people Aka a man
Even tho there's some drama in that dept.
I just am craving a hug

Work here starts at 6 am
EVERY MORNING!!!!
I may die
We'll see how that works out.

creature

this tiny little creature makes me happy...

 issoku, the chinchilla

(even when she gives the stink eye)

a lot of information for one day....

t minus 15 days.

& i couldn't be happier.

i need the days to go by fast.

lately i have been losing it.

tears have been streaming like crazy.

a few years ago i took an emotional journey.

i didn't plan for it to be one, i just wanted to travel & have fun.

i went to a school that trains you to do mission work.

the first two months were spent wholly on ourselves.

asking questions about who we are & who we want to be.

feelings i had buried deep inside me came out.

mostly anger towards several people that have hurt me in ways they will never know.

i was told that i needed to forgive them

& to move on.

what they didn't know,

i wasn't telling the whole story.

i couldn't tell them.

i haven't told anyone.

don't plan on it either.

i was able to forgive one person.

he was an idiot.

he scarred me.

he attacked me one night when we were alone.

he hurt me.

i went to his house to help him figure out what to do with his gf problems.

it was like straight out of a movie.

apparently he had been planning this for a while but i kept ignoring him.

i went to help him 

& he took advantage of me.

i cried for months.

tried to press charges but the prick's dad was a lawyer.

he got away with it.

he's scum, & i haven't seen him since.

i know that someday he will pay for his actions.

i was able to rely on a few close people to get me through the rough times.

i love them.

the other people i need to forgive....

well, i can't.

it affects me so deeply everyday.

constantly i have thoughts that bring me down.

lately i have been more & more hurt.

for a long time i was like a statue,

i couldn't cry if you paid me a million dollars.

right now, 

i would have about a billion dollars.

it feels good to finally be able to cry.

but it's like out of control. it's annoying.

everything makes me cranky.

i can't even talk about it to others because i'll cry

then i babble & it's hard to understand. 

so, i guess this is my way of getting it out.

i don't count on many people reading it

so i feel i can open up more.

i need someone to talk to.

i really do.

i guess that's what will be good about Hawaii.

more time to talk about my feelings & to be away from several 

sources of my problems.

i will miss my man though.

he's doing amazing right now and is very happy.

i like to see him happy.

he's one person i really count on to just hold me 

& make me feel better without really doing much.

:]

ugh,

i hope that i can get over these blues soon.

it's so not like me to be like this.

usually i'm a happy person.

nothing really bothers me.

it's weird.

anywho.

i have family coming to visit for my sister's 

high school graduation.

i have to finish cleaning.

& make me some 

belguim waffles & strawberries!

YUM!

happy memorial day.

thanks to everyone that has served for our country 

& for those that continue to serve.

God bless & protect you.

i hate people that use the word "dope..." please stop, you sound like an idiot

lately i've needed a swift kick in the

bootay

to do any blogging.

i feel that my life is not all that exciting lately.

the BEST news i have is that i'm 

OFFICIALLY DONE WORKING!

i couldn't be happier!

that place was

boring,

dirty,

annoying,

busy,

& plane ol 

LAME!

i was always sore and my feet and back killed

from standing all the time & not really moving much.

i'm glad to put it allllll behind me.

22 days 

til 

Hawaii

*that's probably the best news but i don't want to brag ;)

well i am just going to chill for a few weeks 

& hang with my man 

& shop 

& prepare for my trip

softball season has started for church ball.

we had our first double header yesterday.

we lost both.

buuuut we did really good for our first time as a team.

i had a few good hits and good catches.

but the best part

was probably when 

the second base man threw the ball to first base 

& NAILED me in the collar bone.

YES, it hurt like the dickens!

it took my breath away 

& made my right arm all tingly.

today, i have a nice mark on my collar bone

it actually kinda looks like a

hickey.

i may just say that's what it is...

ha jk.

i'm glad to have a great injury.

my first real sports injury other than 

bruises and scrapes from volleyball.

ok.....well......

i don't have much else to catch up on.

my camera is kinda broken so i haven't taken many pictures lately.

i gotta fix that before my trip.

note to self.

oh, & i'm like obsessed with eyeball pictures & i like this...

Here's to the women who so kindly let us burst from their vaginas!

'

mmmmm...he's so tasty to look at.

anywho,

i haven't been blogging majorly lately.

i have been using my ipod touch mostly

to be on the internet and it's tough to write 

a good blog post on there with those tiny little keys.

not that my life is that exciting at all.

i have been sick a lot lately.

i blame it on work cuz the germs there are allll over 

& it never really gets cleaned like it should.

& customers are gross too.

today is mother's day.

i love my ma.

i even made her a cake.

it's strawberry with cool whip frosting.

if you don't get this....you're dumb.

watch family guy.

anywho again....

only less than two weeks at work.

it's probably less than ten days now actually but

i don't want to count right now.

i couldn't be happier to be done working there.

i'll feel so much better physically and mentally when i can move on.

oh, and softball season started.

it felt good to play again.

i did splendid actually.

i just need to learn to run faster around the bases.

i run like a snail.

...if snails could run....

ok, well this was just a small post. 

ummm i have stuff to do,

meaning going back to bed to sleep more 

cuz my eyes look way too sleepy.

happy mom's day!

Obama announcement

Bin Laden is dead?!?!

The royal wedding was fantastic.
When I have more time this weekend I plan to write about it.
Right now I need a nap since I stayed up so late to watch.

I got the whole weekend off people.
I'm happy